Valentines Mixtape: Love Songs for Everyone in Your Life
- Phoebe Davidson
- Feb 13
- 13 min read
Jeff Buckley recited this poem in New York City on New Year's Eve 1994, just three years before he passed suddenly at the age of 30. I’ve come back to it frequently over the years, oftentimes at the holidays, but more fittingly in small daily moments when I need to remind myself of love’s omnipresence and its intimate relationality to grace. There is so much emphasis on romantic love all year round! Even without corny cards, mountains of candy, and emptied grocery store flower sections, Valentine’s Day can feel like overkill. Isn’t there enough recognition and appreciation for the couples of the world? I’ve grown I’ve realized that the holiday, no matter how corporate or clichéd it may seem, can also be a gentle reminder to honor all kinds of love in our lives—a force that extends far beyond romance. Buckley’s words remind us of this truth. Love exists everywhere— not just in relationships but in our defiance, our failures, our art, and our self-discovery. It lives in rebellion, in forgiveness, and especially in the music that soundtracks our lives. What better way to romanticize and appreciate the people, places, and things you love than a personalized playlist? With Valentine's Day just days away, here are some last-minute ideas for your Valentine's mixtape, fit for all of your beloved people and phases of life.
Romantic Love
The sheer number of love songs out there makes it impossible to avoid a section of classically romantic love songs. The majority of all music produced today is inherently romantic. Across genres, eras, and styles, love songs fill our lives and provide the soundtrack for the relationships we form. It can be hard to find new favorites or to sift through the many classics to find an appropriate song for your partner. Here are a few songs that capture the intimacy and magic of romance:
"You, my love, are allowed to grab my guitar and sing me idiot love songs if you've lost your ability to speak."
“Take Off Your Cool” - Outkast and Norah Jones
This track from Outkast’s 2003 Speakerboxx/ The Love Below, stands out in their discography. Among 40 instrumentally rich and soul-funk-infused songs (Discs 1 and 2), “Take Off Your Cool” is a gentle reprieve. It is pure sweetness, employing a simple melody, backdropped against the harmony of Andre 3000’s melodic high rasp and Norah Jone’s low sultry whisper. Though the song feels romantic, it applies to relationships new and old, romantic or otherwise, by imploring its listeners to free themselves of all inhibitions and come exactly as they are.
"Baby take off your cool / I wanna see you / I wanna see you / Baby "
“Deep in Love” - Bonny Light Horseman
Folk supergroup Bonny Light Horseman combines the extraordinary talents of Eric D. Johnson (of the Fruit Bats and The Shins), Anais Mitchell (playwright of the famed Hadestown musical), and Josh Kaufman (instrumentalist and collaborator with artists ranging from Bob Weir and The War on Drugs to Taylor Swift). “Deep in Love” was recorded in the middle of the night, and completed in just one take. It was nominated for a Grammy in 2020 for Best American Roots Performance. It’s a beautiful evocation of romantic love, conflating the giddy anticipation of new love with a spring day. The instrumentation is bright, joyful, and ethereal, like the feeling of new romance, while Johnson’s vocals capture the fear of vulnerability that also accompanies the start of a relationship.
“Gatherin flowers, both fresh and gay / Gatherin’ flowers, both red and blue / How little thought of what, what love could do / Don’t you break my heart”
“I Saw Her For the First Time” - Dr. Dog
This song echoes Bright Eyes’ “First Day of My Life” in its sentiments—love at first sight but also a kind of rebirth spurred by someone’s entrance into your life. The full-bodied string introduction gives it an almost grandiose feel like you’re walking into a high-ceiling, sun-soaked room, painted in colorful reflected light. It captures pure, unadulterated love and adoration—the feeling of instantly recognizing the impact someone will have on your life.
“‘Cause I never saw a room light up like that / And I never felt time stand still / And I never knew a man could fall like that / At least not until / I saw her for the first time / And I was lonely for the last time"
Platonic Love
Platonic love might just be love in its purest form. That intangible thing that connects us to people across places, backgrounds, and years. In many ways, friendships help prepare us to be partners and just good people, it is in friendship that we often learn to ask questions like - What can I do? How can I help? What can I hold? Do you want a drink? Some chapstick? The other half of my orange? Do you want to come along? Can I come too? Here are some songs that pay homage to that special relationship between friends:
“Me and Michael” - MGMT
“Me and Michael” is one of two songs dedicated to friendship on MGMT’s Little Dark Age. Despite being hailed as a soundtrack to lifelong friendships, the song wasn’t originally intended that way. Andrew VanWyngarden has said it was originally written as “Me and My Girl”, but they changed it to Michael because it felt more ambiguous. The 80’s synths and rhythms inherent to the duo’s sound make it feel like a coming-of-age song for those special friendships that carry us through life’s changing phases.
“It’s me and Michael / Solid as they come / Me and Michael / It’s not a question now”
“we were girls together” - Delaney Bailey
This song title comes from a photo of a park bench that went viral a few years ago—a small silver plaque etched with the message ”For my lifelong best friend Judy / From Janice / We were girls together.” The dedication’s last line went viral across social and streaming platforms, eliciting a strong emotional response from people around the world who took the opportunity to share their own meaningful female friendships alongside the quote. The song echoes this sentiment, a gentle, delicate song dedicated to female friendship.
“I’ll be homesick for you / 'Till my body turns blue / I’d like to follow you / 'Till you’re sick of me too”
“Khala My Friend” - Amanaz
This song was released on Amanaz’s 1975 Africa, a beautifully crafted collection of Zambian-infused psychedelic rock songs. Zamrock, a blend of Zambian instrumentation and classic rock, surged in popularity in the 70s after the newly independent Zambian government enforced a law requiring all radio music to be Zambian. The genre’s global ascent came to a tragic halt in the 1980s as the AIDS crisis devastated Zambia. The artistic community was hit hard, and almost all of the genre’s pioneers passed, taking the music with them. “Khala my Friend,” despite being a sad and cynical song, is also a sweet declaration of loyalty and devotion to a friend. Keith Kabwe’s warm voice floats over a fuzzy, drifting blend of soft percussion and electric guitar riffs in a touching dedication to platonic love.
Self-Love
The self-love song can be hard to tackle without feeling corny or contrived. As a category, it’s often conflated with empowerment. Of course, this is a crucial element, but sometimes it’s okay to get sappy with our self-love-- it’s part of the healing! Music can help cultivate this intrinsic affection, not just through direct lyricism but in the abstract ways songs remind us to take time and to trust in our capacity to change and heal.
"You, my love, are allowed to shed the weight of all the years before, like bad disco clothes / Save them for a night dancing stoned with your lover."
“Magic” - Julia Jacklin
Julia Jacklin’s 2022 “Magic” is a powerful meditation on self-growth. In the track, she describes the pursuit of a new romantic interest—a situation that can cause anxiety and bring up painful histories. Jacklin is declaring that this time, she’ll throw caution to the wind, shed the weight of her past, and free herself of inhibitions as she puts herself back out there. A soft instrumentation builds behind her steady voice, breaking only at the song’s final lines,
“For my final trick I’ll ask / if we can wait / Until I feel safe again”
“Yes I’m Changing” - Tame Impala
While this song may feel nostalgic and melancholy at points, the lyrics ground it in optimism. Tame Impala is resigning that he has accepted change rather than resisting it, and as a result, a whole new world is opening up for him. You can come along on this ascent to self-discovery, but he doesn’t need you to. It’s a good song to return to in times of uncertainty or self-doubt, reminding us that change is gradual and tedious but that accepting and embracing it can be a powerful act of self-love.
“Unfucktheworld” - Angel Olsen
Olsen’s “Unfucktheworld” is both a heartbreaking breakup song and a good addition to any self-love playlist. Olsen’s voice rings out over a simple, three-chord acoustic melody, resigning to look out for herself, to choose peace of mind over continuing a relationship that no longer serves her. Despite coming out more than a decade ago, the track remains one of Olsen’s most popular due to its quiet yet powerful emotional resonance.
“It’s not just me for you / I’ve gotta look out too / I need some peace of mind / I have to save my life / I am the only one now / I am the only one now”
Transient or Long Distance Love
The infamous situationship seems to dominate the contemporary dating world for young people. This type of love that isn’t love at all can make you feel excited, confused, disappointed, and carefree all at once. Long-distance love can also tap into that intersection of adoration and hurt that comes from being with the right person at the wrong time, wanting so badly for something to work, and being both overjoyed when it does and heartbroken when it doesn’t. Here are some tunes for the people that come and go, or for those that you're currently missing:
"Stay a While" - The Cactus Channel
This instrumental from the Australian collective The Cactus Channel always feels like a manifestation of joy in movement— it’s happy and fun, with a grooving rhythm that moves alongside horns, bells, and synths. It’s bright and catchy while also feeling melancholy, mirroring a relationship that’s fun but may not last, or the kind of love that may last but ebb and flow with time or distance.
"Bless the Telephone" - Labi Siffre
Siffre is a master of evoking powerful emotions, his smooth voice and simple lyricism blending seamlessly with soft rock, jazz, and soul sounds to tug on any listener's heartstrings. In less than two minutes, “Bless the Telephone” does just that, tapping into the seemingly mundane experience of missing a loved one and the quiet peace derived from finally speaking with them.
"Strange how a phone call can change your day / Take you away / Away from the feeling of being alone / Bless the telephone"
“Baby, Where You Are” - Ted Lucas
This warm, mellow song captures the feeling of constantly wanting to be near someone, yearning to be so intertwined you see life through their eyes. It is slow and sweet and could apply to any relationship but feels especially pertinent for one in which you’re geographically separated.
Familial Love
Songs written for children, parents, and other family members are often dismissed as cheesy or tired, and artists have been criticized for only resorting to such topics once their creative wells run dry. Despite this, there are many unique, quality songs written about familial relationships that can help show your love for those in your family this Valentine's Day, or all year long.
"You, my love, are allowed to show your babies how to dance full bodied, starry eyed, audacious, supernatural and glorified."
“You Are Your Mother’s Child” - Conor Oberst
This song comes from Bright Eyes frontman and indie extraordinaire Conor Oberst, who originally wrote it as a part of the 2012 Stuck in Love soundtrack. It is a heartbreaking message from a father to a child, told in Oberst’s flat, rasped tone. Even if you’re not a parent, and despite Connor not having kids himself, the song will make you cry like you’re sending your firstborn off to college.
"'Cause you are your mother's child / She had you for a while / But now you are grown, and you're making it on your own / Well now that you're grown, may you never feel this alone"
“Vienna” - Billy Joel
This song is special for many reasons and could be a part of a love mixtape for a place, friends, a partner, yourself, siblings, or other family members. The song was not anticipated to be a hit, but in the contemporary age, “Vienna” has turned out to be one of the Piano Man’s most popular songs. It was written after a young twenty-something Billy Joel met up with his estranged father in Vienna on one of his first tours. Its sentiments on aging and stopping to smell the roses were derived from his father's perspective. It’s a gentle, poignant reminder to ourselves and to those we love to slow down and embrace the unknown, that we are allowed to have time.
“The Bug Collector” - Haley Heynderickx
Haley Heynderickx’s "The Bug Collector" comes off like a letter to a younger sibling, vowing to protect them from the bugs in their bedroom— symbolic of life’s more menacing terrors. The blend of Heynderickx’s soft voice with a delicate string background, evokes childhood fear and naivety, while horns wash in and paint the nostalgia with a swelling sense of duty and care that accompanies familial love.
"And I try my best / To prove that nothing's out to get you"
Love that Lingers
Because the break-up song is so essential to the contemporary musical tapestry, it couldn’t go without a section here. Oftentimes, the break-up song feels more romantic than a classic love song, the lyricism and instrumentation that stems from hurt and yearning often seem to tap into deeper emotional reserves. Its inclusion here can also serve as a reminder that love lost is still of value, what it teaches us and where it leads can be more valuable than its endurance.
“Shim El Yasmine” - Mashrou’ Leila
Lebanese Indie group Mashrou’ Leila made waves in the 21st century for their openly gay music addressing important social and political issues. In this track, lead vocalist Hamed Sinno is singing about an early relationship, presumably, his first love. He mourns what they lost through an imagined present in which they never parted, contrasted with a reality in which they did. The song is stripped down and vulnerable, its nostalgia enhanced by soft strings, whistles, and piano riffs. Sinno’s voice is buttery and powerful, belting through the song’s last line,
"But you’re in your house and I’m in another / Oh god, I wish I never let you go / Smell the jasmine / And remember to forget me"
"So Long, Marianne" - Leonard Cohen
This song is a love letter to Cohen’s long-time lover and muse, Marianne Ihlen. Though its delivery is warm and almost humorous, the song is a sad reflection of two people forced to separate despite strong feelings for one another. Cohen met Marianne on the Greek island of Hydra in the 1960s, and their love affair would span decades, resulting in some of Cohen’s most impactful songs and poems, including “Bird on the Wire” and “Hey, That’s No Way to Say Goodbye”. Ilhen passed away in 2016, and her friend shared a letter Cohen had written to her in her final days, “well Marianne it’s come to this time when we are really so old and our bodies are falling apart and I think I will follow you very soon. Know that I am so close behind you that if you stretch out your hand, I think you can reach mine.” The song speaks for itself.
“I Don’t Want to Get Over You” - The Magnetic Fields
Stephen Merritt approaches a breakup with humor and resignation in “I Don’t Want to Get Over You.” The song came out as a part of The Magnetic Field’s 69 Love Songs (yes, it's really composed of 69 love songs). While breakup songs tend to emote and mourn, this one confronts the conflation of infatuation with love. It taps into the universal experience of being stuck on someone while questioning how much of our attractions are just projected ideals of ourselves and others.
Universal Love Songs
While we categorize love songs in our everyday lives, musical discussions, etc., love as a musical theme and overall concept is quite elusive. It permeates all our lives in a myriad of ways— and what makes a song a “love” song is so intimate and personal to your own experiences. Here are a few, more universal love songs to top off your playlists for Valentine's Day.
“You my love are allowed to love”
“Everyone Needs Love” - Foxygen
Foxygen are masters of keeping us on our toes, with a rich psychedelic style that is constantly evolving. While some critics found this album, ...And Star Power, to be a bit messy, this song is a perfect culmination of this edge. Its 70s-infused instrumentation ranges from a floaty, dreamy groove to a thumping orchestra, setting an expansive stage for the song’s sentimental lyrics.
“Everyone needs love / You've got to try / You're a star / You've got to shine"
“You and Me” - Penny & The Quarters
This soul song has all the makings of a classic love song, sweet, impassioned lyrics, and a joyful harmony of voices declaring devotion. The track came from a rogue cassette discovered at an Ohio yard sale in 2005. Despite concerted efforts to find the artists who made it, its origin remained a mystery until 2011. After the song was popularized by its inclusion in the 2010 film Blue Valentine then-62-year-old Virginia resident Nannie Sharpe was identified as the mysterious “Penny,” and her brothers Donald, John, and William Coulter as “the Quarters.” The young siblings didn't even know the tapes were recording when "You and Me" came to life, but fans are certainly glad they were.
“True Love Will Find You in The End” - Daniel Johnston
Daniel Johnston’s music is special, not for his vocal prowess but for his unadulterated ability to evoke emotional vulnerability. This song feels like a fitting conclusion to an exploration of love songs. It is remarkable for both its simplicity and ambiguity, calling on a dual sense of hope and sadness. He meditates on love’s elusivity and the loneliness found in its pursuit, while also promising love exists, in romantic relationships, yes, but in the end, it’s everywhere.
“Only if you’re looking can it find you / Cause true love is searching too / But how can it recognize you unless you step out into the light, the light?”
Yes, love can be flowers and chocolates, Etta James and Billie Holiday, but what if it’s more? What if love is the quiet, inadvertent moments that shape our lives, the ones that don’t ask for recognition? Like holding off on watching a good movie alone, just in case my friends want to see it too. What if it's the steady comfort of my mom’s voice on the other end of the phone? The basket of produce my neighbor brings from her garden or my dog’s nose pressed against the front door, waiting for me to come home? What if love lives in the choices you make every day to build a beautiful and fulfilling life for yourself? When we stop searching for love in a single missing moment or person, everything starts to feel a little lighter (And Valentine’s Day is more fun too!). The holiday doesn't have to be about what we lack, but a celebration of the myriad of ways love is woven into the fabric of our everyday lives and experiences.
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